I need more than just a break, I need to rid of it. How do I rid of it without the proper stimuli needed especially in my current position? Hopefully it’s just a phase because I cannot stand this any longer; it’s crushing me. It pushes me to a limit where it makes me think of the unthinkable. Cogitations of “Why me?” Why is God putting me through the unbearable. Better me than anyone else because wishing this upon someone else or seeing someone suffer through this is malevolent and dismal. Hopefully I can survive a few more months of this crippling disease.